Best Life: Are you connecting emotionally?

Does this sound familiar?  Hundreds of items on your “to-do” list.  You feel tugged in a dozen directions.  The business needs your attention.  You want to spend quality time with friends and family.  Your body is craving a workout.  Paperwork and post-it notes are piling up everywhere.  Your mind wants peace of mind.  Commitments. Choices.  Opportunity.  Conflicts in your mind.  The recipe for overwhelm is clear.

When activity is high, it can be easy to lose connection with what is most important.  We may diminish the big and little successes occurring along the way.  We may not stop and fully connect with those we love – enough or at all.  We may set goals and objectives haphazardly, not owning or connecting to them at the core of our being.  We may avoid connecting to the underlying feelings that haven’t been expressed. We may lose connection with ourselves.

Whether you fit the “busy” description, or are just casually pacing through life – STOPPING and taking the time to “consciously connect” emotionally and energetically is essential to maximizing fulfillment AND productivity.

The more consciously you are connected, the greater sense of aliveness, joy and flow you will naturally experience in your life.  Take inventory by evaluating how CONNECTED you are in each of the following areas.  What is your next level of connection?

1.  Moments of Celebration.  Busy people accomplish a lot, and it’s easy to get caught up in the “doing” and focus on the “what’s not done yet.”  Sooner or later this can lead to burn-out.  Whether you have a long or short list to review, reflect upon your accomplishment points over the past 90 days.  Stop and consciously connect to each one.  How did it feel to complete the task or project?  If you didn’t connect with the joy of achievement back then, how does it feel now? Elation?  A sense of pride or accomplishment?  Joy?  Challenge yourself to stop and consciously connect to each celebration opportunity over the weeks to come.  FEEL IT!!!  Take it in!!! Relish in your successes!!

2.  High Energy Vibration Emotions.  Throughout the day, there are lots of opportunities to connect with “high energy vibration” emotions.  Joy, love and peace are some of my favorites.  When those moments come along are you indulging yourself in these wonderful feelings?  Or are you quickly moving on?  Consciously choose to stop and connect with these opportunities to raise your energy – and feel good.  Even 5-10 seconds is enough.  The more, the better.  Notice a stunning double rainbow as you are driving home (that happened yesterday for me!!) or something beautiful.  Connect to the joy of seeing a friend you haven’t seen in months.  Read a heart-warming email and be affected.  What is the feeling?  Connect with it.  Savor those moments.

3.  Unexpressed Feelings or Words.  If you’ve gone through a stressful period of time, there may be underlying emotions that haven’t been fully expressed, YET.  Big moves, job transitions, family illnesses or death, relationship break-ups, expanding your business or publishing a book are some examples.  It may not have felt appropriate to burst out into tears while supporting other family members or graphic designer during a crisis, it may .  Maybe you’ve needed to remain calm and centered during the business transition.  Or maybe there is something that hasn’t been cleared up in a relationship.

When emotions and feelings build up inside of you, the best way to “reconnect” with yourself and others is by EXPRESSING those feelings or words.  Feel your feelings.  Speak your truth.  This is not about taking frustrations out on another person or in OVER indulging in heavy emotions.  The purpose is simply to “express” yourself — and release the blocked energy so you can be FULLY available and connected again.  You may choose to curl up on the couch with a box of Kleenex and a “tear-jerker” movie to get the waterworks started.  Maybe a friend would offer up their shoulder to cry on.  Maybe a punching bag at the gym would provide a nice release.  Maybe a simple phone call to share your thoughts and feelings is all that is needed.

Fighting emotions and feelings doesn’t work.  Let them flow.  You’ll notice that the feelings dissipate when they are expressed.

4.  Goals and Visions.  What are your goals and visions for 2005?  How connected are you to each of them?  Take a few minutes to consciously connect, imagining yourself realizing the goal or vision.  What are the feelings associated with this vision?  Find those feelings inside of you now.   To strengthen your connection to your visions, you may articulate them to others, expand upon them in writing or gather visual pictures that represent your desired goals.  Take the vision from your head into your heart.  The more connected you are to your visions, the more easily they come into your life.

5.  Relationships. Who do you love?  And, who loves you?  Take a few minutes to consciously connect to the depth of love you feel for your partner, children, friends, family, customers, clients or a business partner.  When you’re in conversations with others, are you FULLY connected and present?  Are you connected mentally? Emotionally?  Spiritually?  Physically?  The more consciously you choose to connect with others, the more they get to experience YOU…and the more you’ll receive in return.  The deeper the connection, the more fulfilling it is — and the easier those relationships flow.

6.  The Present Moment.  The moment IS all there is.  How deeply are you connected to this moment, right now?  Engage your senses.  Connect with your body. Connect with your environment. Connect with others. Let go of thoughts of the past or future.   Put ALL of your ATTENTION here in the NOW.  Connecting to the present moment is a gateway to accessing your true power. The more you cultivate THIS connection, the more you WILL experience your life flowing. Connect FULLY to this moment. NOW.

7.  Your Magnificence.  Who are you when you are shining in your essence?  What is your true identity?  What qualities describe you?  Do you consider yourself wise, confidant, sensual, radiant, powerful, fabulous, free, loving, kind, generous, resourceful or creative?
Or ??? When is the last time you consciously connected to these qualities to every cell of your being.  What beliefs shape you?  Connect to who you are.  Take a few minutes and imagine each quality being installed throughout your entire being.  How does it FEEL to own each quality?  How will you LIVE when you are fully connected to your magnificence?

Final Words: Connection is something you must FEEL from the inside out.  It’s not about reading words on a page, and connecting mentally.  And, it’s not about connecting INSIDE of yourself off in a corner.  True connection happens as we relate and interact with people and the world.  Inside and out.  You must FEEL the connection.  Deepen all of your connections…and enjoy the ride!

Soulful CHALLENGE: Consciously connect to something related to each of the “connection opportunities” described above.  Then, CHOOSE ONE that you’ll consciously work on deepening over the week to come.  This is a practice you may just want to take on throughout the year.

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