Happy New Year!!  I hope that you enjoyed the holidays and are eagerly looking forward to 2003.

You may have noticed that SoulFULLY Living and I took a break over the holidays.  Admittedly, consumed by life.  However, an abundance of "new content" to share has emerged as a result of the "FULL", challenging and reflective time.  I appreciate those who shared concern that you weren't receiving SoulFULLY Living anymore...you haven't missed any issues.  Please accept my apology for the lack of communication.  You can expect more regular issues of SoulFULLY Living once again.

Soulfully Being Feature - "Accepting YOU or Accepting YOUR EGO?"

Healthy Inside & Out - Tips #1 - Succeeding and Enjoying the Body For Life or ANY HEALTH & FITNESS Program.

Looking forward to co-creating a Magical 2003 with you. Have a wonderful week!

Mary Allen, CPCC, PCC

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Ok, let's face it.  We LOVE it when everyone in our lives loves and accepts us unconditionally.  That's a true friend, right?  Or is it...? When we're running late or irresponsible, and they don't give us a hard time.  When we're a mess emotionally, and they listen to our "story"...over and over again, and continue to offer their support.  When we're PMS-ing (aka "being bitchy, whiney or needy" for women) or "isolating" (for men).  I appreciate it when others overlook my flaws and the poor emotional states I'm in, AND still want to spend time with me, accept me and love me.   

Have you ever gotten frustrated with someone, when you thought they weren't "accepting who you are"?  I've had that experience more than once.  I thought, "Gosh, other people seem to accept me as I am, why can't THEY?"

Then it dawned on me.  Is what I want them to ACCEPT, really ME?  Of course, if I'm copping an attitude about their so-called inability to accept me for who I am, I'm probably not exactly being a "lovebug", am I?  When this phenomena happens, I can almost guarantee that I've stepped into a world of FEAR, feeling needy, insecure, overwhelmed, frustrated, or emotionally distraught in some way.  Yuck!

Are those emotions who I really am? NO.  And, do I really want THEM to do something to REINFORCE or ENCOURAGE me to continue these "ego-based" unattractive emotions?  NO. Not really.  

If you're lucky, as I've been, you'll have someone who loves you "call you on it in some way".  However, they probably won't say it in a gentle tone, "Oh Mary, I notice you're being a little needy and insecure, right now...that's not who you really are, is it?".  Usually "the guidance" will come in CODE LANGUAGE, which could easily be mistaken as "lack of love".  You'll experience their RESISTANCE to "the faux you".....perhaps they'll withdraw, get angry or frustrated at you, or say something hurtful.  And, it may even deepen those "icky emotions" you gingerly want them to accept. Their HONEST reactions actually say, "I don't like who I perceive you are being right now".  Here's an opportunity to check-in with yourself and see who you ARE being.  Would YOU want to be with YOU in this state?  IS this REALLY who you are, or has an "imposter temporarily taken over your body"?  That imposter is your EGO.

If you're thinking, but shouldn't my friend or spouse "accept me as I am"?  

They do accept you, or they wouldn't be in your life.  But, who they WANT to accept in that moment is the "REAL YOU"...FREE of the ego's story or illusion of fear, frustration, insecurity, neediness and emotional turmoil.  Who are you being when you're "most authentic", LOVING and accepting of THEM?   Isn't this really YOU?  Don't they seem to readily ACCEPT you when you're really being you're most relaxed, carefree, authentic, loving self - free from the bondage of the ego mind's fears?

And, yes...ultimately I agree, the highest form of LOVE is "accepting what IS".....even if you or they AREN'T being "an angel".  But, we're not interested in THEIR personal growth, right now...we're interested in YOURS. 

So First, take their "CODE LANGUAGE" of RESISTANCE as a gift and look inside yourself.  Deal with the source of the frustration, insecurity or neediness.  The source of it, is ALWAYS YOU (even if we're sure it's them).  More about how to process these emotions in later issues.

Secondly, practice dishing out what you want from them..."ACCEPT who they are" unconditionally.  Ego and all.  They are just being themselves, exactly as they should be in this moment.  Giving you an opportunity to expand your LOVE muscles.

So, you're ready to "get fit", tone up, build mass, lose weight or otherwise reshape your body.  Awesome.  

TIP #1: DECIDE.

Don't confuse "I think it would be a good idea to reshape my body" with DECIDING.  Good intentions don't translate necessarily into the results you desire.  A decision means "cutting off all other possibilities".  It's definitive.  There is a commitment behind it.  The commitment isn't just in this moment...it's one that is enduring until the outcome is achieved.

I personally like the Body For Life program because it IS definitive.  It's 90 Days.  I believe I can do anything for 90 Days, if I DECIDE to.  

When I've truly "decided" something, there is enormous power that automatically comes from it.  And, following through becomes a "fun game".  Deciding means you're willing to do whatever it takes, even if it's inconvenient at times.

I apply any time I approach a fitness goal. The yoga experts said I could "reset my nervous system" around a particular "chakra", if I did the same Kundalini Yoga routine for 40 Days in a row!!  That sounded intriguing enough for me, and I wanted to feel the affects of THAT...so I DECIDED to do it. This meant EVERY DAY I was committed to my yoga routine.  Regardless of my other commitments, I had to find time to make it happen.  If I got side-tracked, or stayed out late with friends, and hadn't yet done my yoga routine...I DID it at 11pm or Midnight.  I had DECIDED I was going for 40 Days...and I didn't want to start over.  If I knew I'd be busy ALL day, sometimes I'd get up EARLIER to squeeze it into my day.  And, when time was a bigger crunch, I "halved" the time of each exercise...but still DID the yoga set.  I'll tell you...IT FEELS SO GOOD to CLEARLY DECIDE...and follow through with that decision.

When I "officially" did the Body For Life Challenge, it all started with a DECISION.  That decision wasn't always convenient to follow through on.  I sometimes was jumping on my exercise bike at Midnight.  And, in the middle of my 90 Days, I had committed to crew Life Mastery with Tony Robbins in Hawaii...a 16 Day commitment with little "disposable" time in the day.  But, I had DECIDED to make it work.  So, on "the only break" I snuck off to the gym, or for a 20 minute run.  I had EAS ship me a case of Myoplex Ready-to-Drink, and loaded up my suitcase with protein bars to supplement my food options.  Typically at events, I eat the assortment of "quick, junk food"...out of convenience.  But, because I had DECIDED, I was clear about what I was going to eat - the food aligned with the Body For Life Program. It wasn't worth it to me to come off the program, and have to START OVER.  90 Days was long enough.  And, there was a lot of "freedom" and ease I experienced, because I had already "decided" which foods I'd put in my body and what I would not.

So, when you're really SERIOUS about your health program. DECIDE.  Whatever the structure you use...commit to it.  Nearly ANY program done consistently will create results.  It all starts with a serious DECISION.

Note: I don't receive any commissions for referring individuals to the Body For Life Program.  I just know its helped me and others create results with their bodies.

Who are YOU without   "your story"?