30 Day Goals

We are powerful beings.  Yet, as human beings it's easy to get caught in repetitive, unconscious patterns.  The good news is, we CAN take charge of our lives ANYTIME we choose.  And, a 30 Day Goal is the perfect structure to do so.  Here's my most recent story.

One of the things I enjoy in life is wine.  Specifically, red wine.  Or should I say, yummy, high-quality, fabulous, bold red wines like Cabernet's and Red Zinfandels.  One of the evening rituals my husband and I enjoy is sharing a glass or two of fine wine.  It complements are evening meal preparation ritual of grilling (John's a master!) and steaming vegetables (I know...very exciting!).  Nothing wrong with a glass of wine here and there, right?

One evening, I pointed out to John that it seemed like we were having a glass of wine nearly every night of the week.  Okay, maybe not EVERY night...but a good 5-6 times a week.   I had been noticing I especially enjoyed the ritual of pulling out our favorite Lenox wine glasses (our first wedding gift!), and pouring a beautiful and savory glass of wine.  I like holding the glass; it feels like a treat, even luxurious.  A reward for the end of the day.  And, on the super FULL days...it seemed like a nice way to relax.  A way to give a little gift to myself.  And, it was something John and I shared together...a way of connecting (another favorite pasttime of mine).  All in all, pretty harmless.  Right?  No one was getting drunk.  Typically, it one glass... occasionally two, and even more rarely a whole bottle.  

Perhaps you can relate.  Do you have a favorite ritual?

On many nights, I noticed I enjoyed the RITUAL of our wine, even more than the wine itself.  Was this an unconscious pattern forming?  Was I really in control?  

I shared these thoughts with John.  He didn't seem to have any attachment to our "wine ritual."  So, I said, "Well, if it's not a big deal, why don't we go on a 30 day hiatus WITHOUT wine?"  (Since the wine was also part of a "connecting" ritual for me, I was hoping to get an ally in this 30 Day Goal.)  John didn't hesitate, and voila...a 30 Day Goal was set in motion.  

I eagerly announced this 30 Day Goal to my Success and Inner Peace Bootcamp participants.  Not to inspire them, but to hold myself accountable!!!  Again, it was more about the HABIT and ritual, than the wine itself.  Accountability offers great leverage.

In hindsight, I could've picked a more convenient "30 days" to pass on wine and ALL alcohol.  First, I attended my industry ICF Conference.  Nothing for Mary.  Then, there were parties, dinners out with friends.  Plus, our evening dining ritual.  And, then Thanksgiving!!!  And, then dinner out with friends who enjoy $100 bottles (we saved a bundle that night.)  No alcohol for 30 days.

It was an extraordinary experience in awareness.  I got to notice that IMPULSE to have a glass of wine at the end of the day, or when at dinner with friends or family.  I got to observe other people's reactions to my decision to abstain.  Most were actually quite supportive.  Some didn't even notice!!!  Some were a bit uncomfortable with my choice, and tried to tempt me.  Others would just carry on their own festivities.  One evening, we stopped to see friends and stayed for dinner.  They LOVE fine wine too.  And, John decided to have a glass with them (he was a bit less committed to the 30 Day Goal).  I still didn't have a drop.  However, I did encourage them to save the second bottle of Late Harvest Zinfandel for another visit, so they opened something else for the second bottle.  I drank water.

Throughout this process, I also got to notice that after I had made my decision, and gotten past the impulse, it was EASY.  I noticed I could CONNECT with John, friends and family the same, or better.  I noticed I could also RELAX without a single glass of wine.  I confirmed what I knew intellectually...I don't need wine.

Throughout my 30 Days, my closest friends wanted to know WHY I was doing this.  They knew John and I weren't borderline alcoholics.  Here's what I shared.  "I've always been one to notice my 'patterns,' especially if there is an unhealthy element to it.  One time, I noticed I was enjoying Frappacinos or Mochas at Starbucks too much.  Sometimes, it's a particular snack food.  I don't like any THING outside of me to have more control over me than ME.    I don't like a HABIT or ritual to control me."   

How many people do you know who HAVE to have a cup of coffee in the morning?  Or HAVE to drink at least THREE diet sodas throughout the day?  Or HAVE to watch TV in order to go to sleep?  Or HAVE to have the radio on throughout the day?  Or HAVE to read the newspaper each day?  Is there a "have to" in your life?

What is ONE thing you wouldn't 
want to give up for 30 days?   

Does something have more control over you than you'd like?  Could YOU give it up for 30 days?  I've always said, "I can do anything for 30 days."  I KNOW you can too.  It's simply a matter of decision, focus and accountability. 

Funny thing is...my little 30 Day Goal inspired a few of my friends!!  One friend felt coffee was a morning ritual that had too much control over her.  She substituted herbal tea...and voila!!!  She now has a new relationship with coffee.  And, after her 30 days, when she had her first sip, she reported, "It didn't taste quite as good as I remembered it."   Another set of friends is following suit with 30 days of no alcohol.  John stopped in for a visit, and while they gave John a glass of wine, they had none.   They're already on a roll.  And, I've noticed since my 30 days, wine is now something we have on occasion.

CREATE A NEW RITUAL.   You can also use the 30 Day Goal structure to CREATE a new ritual or habit.  One of my Bootcamp participants did 30 days of exercise in a row to create momentum toward her fitness plan.  Another client took on writing daily for 30 days.   Another client took on reading daily for 30 days.  

I'm now taking on 30 days of meditation to establish this new ritual for myself...and plan to continue it throughout 2008.  Why limit yourself to 30 days if it's habit you want to keep?

What new ritual or habit would you like to create in 2008?  Meditation?  Exercise?  Daily writing?  Flossing?  Journaling?  Yoga?  Writing down appreciations?  Taking your vitamins?  Juicing daily?  What 30 Day Goal would inspire and support you?

THE MILLION DOLLAR CHALLENGE.  If someone promised to give you $1 Million Dollars if you committed to do __________ every day for 30 days, could you do it?  If someone promised to give you $1 Million Dollars if you committed to give up __________ every day for 30 days, could you do it?  OF COURSE you could.

The point is...you are powerful.  It's all about DECIDING.  You are in charge of you.  Prove it to yourself.  You'll feel great about yourself when you do.  It's a fabulous exercise in awareness.  Create a 30 Day Goal that inspires you!!!  See what you notice.